WOW!

:TELL ME WHY:

I'm at school; left an hour before class. I can't stand to be at home right now. Everything's my fault. I was going to go out after class to see the last half of a football game at my old high school with Natalie: my fault. Mom and dad and Lori and Rob wanted to go out at ten and I needed to babysit: my fault. The game wouldn't let me be home until around ten: my fault. Getting out of class at eight thirty and getting to the game at nine: my fault. The fact that my dad wanted me home at nine thirty and that it would have been a complete waste of time to get there just to leave to be home: my fault. I throw a pen: my fault. Mom asks me what's the matter and I tell her about the game and such, but that I'd forgo it to watch the kids so that they could go out: my fault. Dad yells at me for thinking I went to mom and started bitching: my fault. I leave to school an hour early to finish my work that I could not do in an angry house: my fault.

Tell me why this is all my fault. Tell me why my presence is a curse to those I care for. Tell me why I hate this. Tell me why I cannot bring myself to leave. Tell me why I can't take the easy way out. Tell me why I try and be nice to everyone, but for my family it doesn't work. Tell me why I am perscecuted for this. Tell me why I have to suffer for lack of communication. Tell me why I should not give up. Tell me why I should not revert. Tell me why I should not lie. Tell me why the truth hurts.

Because I care.

:I WANNA DO TRACK AND FIELD MOMMY!:

So yea, today I'm bored as shit and I'm goofin' around with my dogs. I don't feel like doing my shit for Spanish yet, so I've been playing in the back yard with them. I got a crazy idea about two hours ago and poked two holes through a tennis ball, through which I tied nylon rope. Yea, that wasn't enough I guess. My dogs aren't much into balls when I can get them back, so, I got a milk jug and tied it on the other end! Not only that, I filled it with water! Yea, one launch of that an' BOOM! It explodered all ober! It made me kinda mad that it didn't last more than one throw, but it was funny as shit, so I'm okay with it. Besides, I got an empty Diet Pepsi 20 Oz and tied it rather securly to the end that had the milk jug. I filled it with water and now I have a makeshift Pepei-sponsored hammer with long handle and a tennis ball on the end! It's funny to see the ball go flying by into the air! Yea, I've now got the giggles and a rope burn on my index finger...I think I'll stop for now...^_^...Oh the adventures of boredom!

:Having no regrets is nearly impossible:

Have you ever cared so much for a person that you upset them when you care too much? Have you ever yelled when you needed to talk? What if that person hated you? Or worse? What would you do?

These questions have been going through my head since last night, and well, I regret my actions. I cared too much and I'm affraid of what might happen.

All one can really do is apologize. It might be hard to do, but hell, it has to be done.

Here goes, I'm sorry. You know who you are, and I am.

Prey for health, love, and peace to all of our friends.